Anxiety

Your anxiety is like a nosy neighbor.

It’s familiar…

It follows you around…

Is always giving you their opinion…

Even makes plans for you!

Maybe you’ve learned how to manage it (well… avoid it, anyway), but it’s persistent, getting louder and louder as you look the other way.

Feel like you’re hanging on by a thread?

Every time you’re ready to do something different, there it is… reminding you this is not the time.

You’ve made new friends? Anxiety tells you they don’t really like you. Or they do, but it’s only a matter of time before they find you annoying.

Maybe you’ve even been in therapy before, but the anxiety was sure to tell you that nothing is safe and no one can be trusted.

Anxiety keeps you safe and prepared… but it also keeps you from moving forward.

I bet there’s someone you really admire…

… who also struggles with anxiety.

If you’re ambitious and high-achieving, you may experience anxiety.

Struggle with perfectionism? There’s anxiety.

People-pleasing? Also fueled by anxiety…

Imposter syndrome? You guessed it: anxiety.

You’ve heard the word, but what exactly is anxiety?

Well, in short, it’s persistent worrying, fear, overwhelm, and overthinking.

It may be worrying about how others perceive you… or fear that something bad might happen.

Anxiety is often present even when things are relatively fine. It’s just your body telling you otherwise.

Why is my body betraying me? Why am I so anxious when nothing is going on?

Anxiety is your body’s alarm system – your body’s way of telling you that something’s not right. Let’s say you go to the mall all the time. You love it: window shopping, buying something you didn’t know you needed, and topping it off with a delicious Cinnabon at the end of it all. (Clearly, this is my ideal day at the mall… Do Cinnabons still even exist?)

One day, you’re at the mall getting onto the escalator, and you trip and fall onto the stairs. Scary, right?! Your life flashes before your eyes, and your worst fear is getting stuck when the time comes to step off quickly. (“Slow down, escalator… SLOW DOWN!”)

From then on, every time you see an escalator – heck, every time you go to the mall – your body remembers that terrifying tangle with the escalator. Even if LOGICALLY you know you’re fine, your body does not. Boom! Anxiety.

It might come in the form of thoughts, emotions, or even bodily sensations. Your body will do anything it needs to do to warn you that things aren’t safe. The anxiety detector has gotten stuck in the “on” position.

The hard part is that some people remember the root incident, and others don’t. So, this may have happened when you were three, and you just THINK you prefer the elevator because you like the clear glass doors and people-watching as you go up and down. But things always feel a little unsettled when you walk past an escalator… or just walking into a mall.

Zuri spent a lot of time in her head.

She landed jobs easily. It was keeping them that was the hard part.

Things always started the same way: An interview with the director, usually white and often female, who talked about how diversity and inclusion were of the utmost importance to the organization. Zuri then started her first day of work with renewed energy and the hope that this place would be different. She made sure to put her best foot forward and saw her colleagues and higher-ups excited to welcome her.

But slowly, Zuri noticed herself pulling back in meetings, often going over what she wanted to say in her head several times – or… not saying anything at all. She was accused of being distant or “not wanting to be there” on her quieter days.

She felt like she was supposed to be “on” every day. It was exhausting.

Alyssa couldn’t leave the house.

She felt comfortable at home, where her routine wouldn’t be disrupted. Here, she always knew what to expect, and there was no one else to affect her mood or give their opinion on her decisions. It was also much easier to control the foods she needed to eat to feel good in her body.

She didn’t accept guests either.

On the rare occasion that she did leave the house, it was only for an in-person appointment she couldn’t miss… or some engagement that a friend convinced her to go to.

It was a battle to leave, which is why she was usually late, missed appointments, or canceled altogether. It wasn’t long before the invitations stopped coming.

Laura wanted to date.

She scrolled on Tinder and Bumble, looking for someone who looked nice enough to give her a chance.

She had no problem being asked out. It was what happened when they saw her that she worried about.

Laura lived in a larger body. And she was fine with it.

But after years of being criticized by her family and bullied for her weight, she couldn’t help but get those little mental reminders that she might not be someone else’s version of desirable.

Eventually, she stopped responding to messages and deleted the apps.

They got tired of their anxiety having the final say.

That’s why Zuri, Patrice, and Laura reached out to me.

We started by making sure they understood what was happening in their body during these bouts of anxiety… and how to cope in the short term. It was important to see anxiety as a messenger trying to get their attention rather than an intruder they needed to get rid of.

Little by little, they learned to see anxiety as separate from them and respond with both curiosity and compassion .

Once the basics were covered and they were ready to go a little deeper, we used EMDR to address any memories of experiences they might not have connected to those anxious thoughts and feelings. (Remember the escalator incident?).

Zuri learned that multiple experiences of systemic oppression in the workplace were a form of complex trauma known as “Identity-Based” or “Oppression-Based” Trauma.

Alyssa found she had experienced things in childhood she never realized could be considered “traumatic.” She benefitted from reprocessing memories of growing up in a chaotic environment.

And Laura? Once we were able to address some of the negative experiences related to other people’s perceptions of her body… well… Laura went on several dates, a fair number of which she actually enjoyed.

I want you to break free from YOUR anxiety, too.

What’s holding you back?

How can I help you get to the bottom of it?

You don’t have to keep living this way!

Use the button below to set up your free consultation.